I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in like a week.  Either something always goes wrong or I'm just getting myself worked up worrying over the littlest thing, I really don't know. Sigh.

     Granny's not been feeling well the past 2 weeks which made me guilty enough to brave the rains and head for a visit (I hadn't visited since May!).  But despite her being sick, she was in a pretty good mood.  Why? My cousin's finally pregnant and due this January.  So now she's got something to look forward to.

     I was productive enough during that visit to canvas plastic bags for the shop.  I finally got a supplier who can give me a way cheaper price than what I'm getting now...75% cheaper!   Which is really good considering I'm really out trying to keep costs down.

    So by now you're wondering what's gotten me so stressed?

     Bills, bills, bills!!!!   I've got to get one of my machines refurbished and it's gonna cost me an extra 5k.  I've thought of just getting a new one but the 20k difference stopped me.  I just can't make myself shell out that much dough.   So now I've two minds of just fixing up the shop and selling it off.  My mom's nagging me to do that (ironic isn't it? after years of nagging me to go into business and to stop being an employee, I finally did what they've always preached.  Now that I'm at that point, they decided I'm better off working for someone else.  I can never figure out parents ). 

     I worry about money.  I mean, heck, of course I used to worry about it but mostly on a small scale.  Like could I afford to take a vacay if i spent half my salary on clothes or books or whatnot. But now it's different.  I worry about not being able to make ends meet; of not being able to pay my bills on time; of not being able to pay my staff's wages ; and most of all, I worry that I'll end up disappointing myself and giving up...which I'm actually close to doing.  I know business will always be rocky at the start but I'm not too sure if it's supposed to be this rocky!   In any case, I'll wait it out another month to see where this goes. I've already sent out feelers for a new job and hopefully things'll pick up next month. *cross fingers*

      Anyway, thanks to all those who dropped by my journal and sorry if I don't get to visit yours and leave a message.  My online time these days are really really short but I appreciate your effort to brighten up my day.  Thanks!